Fragments

I'm tired,

its been a long day at work, my body is exhuasted.

The toll of insomnia or just the constant lack of sleep is showing.

Yet, I can't sleep.

My mind runs rampant, plucking, weaving, discarding, searching.

It gets like this sometimes (do a search on my post entitled arrgggg!)

I call it arts or imagery overload.

Lets see if I can't get it out of my system.

~~~

Awkward, stumbling, disjointed.
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Language fails me when I ... at times like this.

I'm more conscious of it now these days but still am unable to stop it.

When the grasp of linguistics turns weak and the words just fail the mind.

Or is it the mind that fails the tongue?

I've noticed the growing inability to control the numerous accents I've picked up over the years. Rolled Rs coil around stiff upper lip which mixes into the lahs.

And its not just English, its happening with all my languages.

I better keep an eye on this.

~~~~

Fumbles McGee
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So... hey... erm... did you... i mean... what'cha... if...

For all my confidence and bravado, its always comes to this.

The charm of the bumbling idiot.

The talk more when I get nervous thing I've never fully been able to shake.

ummming and ahhing my way through half the day.

All my mind wants to say is "Would you want to get a cup of coffee and chat?"

All my feet want to do is walk on by.

ummm... so...

~~~~

Me and my boys
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I remember coming back to Melbourne during one of my breaks in my army service.

We were in Dee's house catching up and having a good time about it.

She pulled out her latest adventure from her globe trotting to show us.

What is it? We all asked, turning the photo album over.

I just spent 2 weeks in the korean country side helping them dig that well!

It was so fulfilling! Its called a "feel good" holiday.

You fly over and for 3 thousand bucks each, we get to live in their village and help them out.

I remember looking at pictures of city slickers and yappies like my friend who had forked out big bucks to go to the middle of nowhere to build this well.

I remember looking at what they had created and realizing it wouldn't last mere months.

I remember thinking that me and any given 5 of my men could have built them a permanent well in a week for less than what it cost one of the feelgooders to play Samaritan.

I remember politely smiling and handing the photo album back.

Months later, me and my boys sat in the barracks watching news footage of the tsunami ravaged towns of out neigbours.

A quiet rumour had spread that we might be called to help and one by one all made their way back to camp even on our weekend off.

Do you think we'll be called in Sir? asked one.

I don't know

What do you think that we can do to help? asked another

Just then the footage showed an aerial view of the devastation, the wasteland that was once a town.

Stunned silence in the room as we turned up the volume.

With thousands missing and homeless this city of...

I remember sitting there with dozens of my boys, feeling powerless to help.

I remember feeling disappointed when they sent others to go in our stead.

And now... this.