Just a song that's stuck in my head...
She's always a woman
She can kill with a smile. She can wound with her eyes.
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see.
She hides like a child But shes always a woman to me
She can lead you to love. She can take you or leave you.
She can ask for the truth. But shell never believe you.
And she'll take what you give her, as long as its free.
She steals like a thief. But shes always a woman to me
Chorus
Oh-she takes care of herself. She can wait if she wants. She's ahead of her time.
Oh-and she never gives out. And she never gives in. She just changes her mind.
And she'll promise you more than the garden of eden.
Then shell carelessly cut you And laugh while youre bleed'in.
But she'll bring out the best And the worst you can be.
Blame it all on yourself, Cause she's always a woman to me
Chorus
She is frequently kind. And she's suddenly cruel.
She can do as she pleases. She's nobodys fool.
But she cant be convicted. She's earned her degree.
And the most she will do, Is throw shadows at you, But she's always a woman to me
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Time to fly
So many reasons to stay, so many reasons to go.
The promise of new beginnings,
the memory of before.
The weight of the mountain,
the sighs that say too much.
Conversations that don't say enough.
I hope I remember how to fly.
I hope to God that I actually did know how to.
But most of all, I pray for wisdom.
To infinity, and beyond.
The promise of new beginnings,
the memory of before.
The weight of the mountain,
the sighs that say too much.
Conversations that don't say enough.
I hope I remember how to fly.
I hope to God that I actually did know how to.
But most of all, I pray for wisdom.
To infinity, and beyond.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Signs...
i've spent the weekend in Adelaide and have only now discovered that my room has a internet connection! (I needed to go out and buy an ethernet cable see?)
It is as most people have told me, a quieter city then Melbourne.
I do know absolutely no one here (well after this weekend I've met a married couple that are friends of my friends)
And the overheads will shoot up drastically if i make the move.
Yet... the Lord has pointed me a few times to Abraham.
Leave your contry, your people and your father's household and go to the land i will show you... - Gensis 12:1
I am still gathering my thoughts to solidify the decision, but I am probably going to make the move.
This new path ahead, is an unknown, is an adventure... is... is going to need his guidence.
My Lord, guide my path.
It is as most people have told me, a quieter city then Melbourne.
I do know absolutely no one here (well after this weekend I've met a married couple that are friends of my friends)
And the overheads will shoot up drastically if i make the move.
Yet... the Lord has pointed me a few times to Abraham.
Leave your contry, your people and your father's household and go to the land i will show you... - Gensis 12:1
I am still gathering my thoughts to solidify the decision, but I am probably going to make the move.
This new path ahead, is an unknown, is an adventure... is... is going to need his guidence.
My Lord, guide my path.
Monday, August 20, 2007
The plot thickens!
The saga continues!
My current employer tried to retain my services today with a counter offer. Unfortunately, they have fallen about 15% short...
The familiar duels with the unknown in my mind, and right now, its still an even match.
Oh well...
My current employer tried to retain my services today with a counter offer. Unfortunately, they have fallen about 15% short...
The familiar duels with the unknown in my mind, and right now, its still an even match.
Oh well...
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Love is...
I'm sure everyone's heard the by now lame saying that if you love something you gotta learn to let it go.
This thought of course intermingles with a whole bunch of other ones.
Sad accusing eyes, "Lets be honest, you never did love me in anyway"
An almost broken man "If you loved me I would be enough for you"
A friend swigging a bottle of whiskey "Twas better to have love and lost no?"
And i am brought back to the imagery of the grain of sands in an open palm.
Say what you like to make yourself feel better, to numb the pain, to move on.
But nothing will change the fact that what was being learnt happened.
And that is why we both fly on now.
This, this is love.
This thought of course intermingles with a whole bunch of other ones.
Sad accusing eyes, "Lets be honest, you never did love me in anyway"
An almost broken man "If you loved me I would be enough for you"
A friend swigging a bottle of whiskey "Twas better to have love and lost no?"
And i am brought back to the imagery of the grain of sands in an open palm.
Say what you like to make yourself feel better, to numb the pain, to move on.
But nothing will change the fact that what was being learnt happened.
And that is why we both fly on now.
This, this is love.
The music of the night
Just returned from Phantom of the Opera and wow! It was totally worth the wait.
Warlow as Phantom is just sensational, his portrayal of the man in the mask so convincing it stuck a chord.
Thanks to B for being gracious and allowing me to watch it even when there was no need to.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Its real...
The head hunters contract arrived today via email.
I had already anticipated that there would be a short window with which I could consider it.
So I prepped the HR lady yesterday by telling her that I would be attending to some of my remote oil rig projects and would only be back in town over the weekend to read the offer.
*What? i really do have oil rig projects! 2 as we speak in fact!*
So its here, in my hot little hands, with a few days of extra time to consider.
Will I take it? I still don't know...
The answer lies within myself see?
I right now, I still don't know what I want...
I had already anticipated that there would be a short window with which I could consider it.
So I prepped the HR lady yesterday by telling her that I would be attending to some of my remote oil rig projects and would only be back in town over the weekend to read the offer.
*What? i really do have oil rig projects! 2 as we speak in fact!*
So its here, in my hot little hands, with a few days of extra time to consider.
Will I take it? I still don't know...
The answer lies within myself see?
I right now, I still don't know what I want...
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
An offer!
The story concludes (from http://caravaggio-song.blogspot.com/2007/08/headhunted.html)!
Whilst waiting for something back from the headhunters, I told my family and friends, No way am i moving to Adelaide! The only way I'd even think about this offer is if they have me XX package and guaranteed me a posting to Sydney in a year!
I even told God, Dear lord, if it is your will that i should consider this offer, pls let it be at least XX package and a guaranteed posting to Sydney in a year
And then today i get the call from the HR lady.
Hi, We're prepared to make you an offer... of XX package and a guaranteed posting to Sydney in a year. I'll be sending you the softcopy of the contract for your approval.
Now I start getting nervous... 25% more pay. Yet out of Melbourne? Away from my family, friends and Doggies?
I look at prices of rental and whoa! there just went most of my new raise... and the industry?
Sure being part of a project to build missle destroyers sounds cool, but the defense industry is so... well, put it this way, all the defense contractors in the country fight for the attention of the one single client. Is this a wide scope industry?
It seems to be a move for my next 2 years at least. 1 in Adeliade and 1 in Sydney.
Bo Grosso would tell me to just shuddup and stop being a wuss.
What would you do my friends?
Whilst waiting for something back from the headhunters, I told my family and friends, No way am i moving to Adelaide! The only way I'd even think about this offer is if they have me XX package and guaranteed me a posting to Sydney in a year!
I even told God, Dear lord, if it is your will that i should consider this offer, pls let it be at least XX package and a guaranteed posting to Sydney in a year
And then today i get the call from the HR lady.
Hi, We're prepared to make you an offer... of XX package and a guaranteed posting to Sydney in a year. I'll be sending you the softcopy of the contract for your approval.
Now I start getting nervous... 25% more pay. Yet out of Melbourne? Away from my family, friends and Doggies?
I look at prices of rental and whoa! there just went most of my new raise... and the industry?
Sure being part of a project to build missle destroyers sounds cool, but the defense industry is so... well, put it this way, all the defense contractors in the country fight for the attention of the one single client. Is this a wide scope industry?
It seems to be a move for my next 2 years at least. 1 in Adeliade and 1 in Sydney.
Bo Grosso would tell me to just shuddup and stop being a wuss.
What would you do my friends?
Monday, August 13, 2007
An offense preceived...
Well folks,
It feels like raging tempest in my head at the moment.
Trials of the home front, the tide at work and the recent events of i don't know whats coming from the friendship side are certainly not making things easy for me.
As has been practice of late, i jumped into the car to clear my head, something about jets of compressed air and fuel being exploded at extremely high rates just helps me vent.
It is taking all of my strength to fight off stray thoughts, of wars fought and lost, of cloak and dagger games played to the timeline of questions you don't really want answered.
God help me ride through this, for when I am weak, you are strong.
Deliver me from the darts of the wicked one and fill me with your peace.
I am trying hard not to lean on my own strength, that avatar built from ego and bravado, fueled with fury.
That Caravaggio has the finger poised over the button of excommunication, to be rid of all involved and just carry on with life without breaking stride.
Instead I shall right now surrender it all to the lamb, even as my mind fights to relinquish it.
God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
That You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain.
Oh how I need those words more than ever.
It feels like raging tempest in my head at the moment.
Trials of the home front, the tide at work and the recent events of i don't know whats coming from the friendship side are certainly not making things easy for me.
As has been practice of late, i jumped into the car to clear my head, something about jets of compressed air and fuel being exploded at extremely high rates just helps me vent.
It is taking all of my strength to fight off stray thoughts, of wars fought and lost, of cloak and dagger games played to the timeline of questions you don't really want answered.
God help me ride through this, for when I am weak, you are strong.
Deliver me from the darts of the wicked one and fill me with your peace.
I am trying hard not to lean on my own strength, that avatar built from ego and bravado, fueled with fury.
That Caravaggio has the finger poised over the button of excommunication, to be rid of all involved and just carry on with life without breaking stride.
Instead I shall right now surrender it all to the lamb, even as my mind fights to relinquish it.
God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
That You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain.
Oh how I need those words more than ever.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Etiquette...
How much time is sufficient for mourning?
It seems that the going rate is now 6 weeks.
It may not be my business anymore, but some things don't vibe right...
I hope that if ever I am in a similar situation, I am more sensible.
All is fair in love and war?
I think for now, I'll stick to war, where at least, i was rarely a fool.
PhoBoy my friend, I hope for all our sakes you grow up faster.
For the path you seek makes fools of all men, and one which in my eyes, you are certainly ill equiped for.
Update:
PhoBoy, you have no idea how much self control and restraint I just practised...
It seems that the going rate is now 6 weeks.
It may not be my business anymore, but some things don't vibe right...
I hope that if ever I am in a similar situation, I am more sensible.
All is fair in love and war?
I think for now, I'll stick to war, where at least, i was rarely a fool.
PhoBoy my friend, I hope for all our sakes you grow up faster.
For the path you seek makes fools of all men, and one which in my eyes, you are certainly ill equiped for.
Update:
PhoBoy, you have no idea how much self control and restraint I just practised...
Friday, August 10, 2007
Corrinne May...
It is a strange relationship I have with music.
It moves me, sometimes...
But when it does my mind and heart will swim circles in whatever it is that has caught me in its updraft.
Recent additions to this list are:
Everything by the once hated Michael Bublé
How did you fall? by newly discovered Chris Rice
Maybe you've been brain washed too - The only new radicals album ever. It finally made it on the list after 9 years...
But i digress, i chanced upon one of my favourite singer song writers releasing a brand new album. It is rare that i pay for a cd nowadays, but darn I pulled out my wallet fast for this one.
I've missed her concerts twice in the rare occasions she performed in singapore. And this being only her 2nd album, I had to have it.
so on its way to me is an *hopefully* autographed copy of her latest album.
She may not be the best singer, or writer.
But when her music plays, somewhere inside, Caravaggio dances.
It moves me, sometimes...
But when it does my mind and heart will swim circles in whatever it is that has caught me in its updraft.
Recent additions to this list are:
Everything by the once hated Michael Bublé
How did you fall? by newly discovered Chris Rice
Maybe you've been brain washed too - The only new radicals album ever. It finally made it on the list after 9 years...
But i digress, i chanced upon one of my favourite singer song writers releasing a brand new album. It is rare that i pay for a cd nowadays, but darn I pulled out my wallet fast for this one.
I've missed her concerts twice in the rare occasions she performed in singapore. And this being only her 2nd album, I had to have it.
so on its way to me is an *hopefully* autographed copy of her latest album.
She may not be the best singer, or writer.
But when her music plays, somewhere inside, Caravaggio dances.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Caravaggio discovers facebook!
Bo Grosso: Dude, check out face book.
Me: Is this like friendster? *logs on and signs up*
Bo Grosso: Sorta, but more interactive, there's lotsa stuff you can do there.
Me: Right... this looks just like friendster, you must be bored at work or something.
Yes yes, call me behind with the times, but i've recently discovered facebook.
And whilst i think the fandangled apps to customize your profile page are yet another incarnation of the "starbucks syndrome" (Its not coffee, its an identity! Mocah latte Grande half caf with a dash of netmeg please ).
I found it great to find old friends that i lost touch with. And WOW ppl have certainly gotten busy!
shy quiet girl turns hyper fitness junkie.
Socialist campaigner in uni actually moving to cuba.
Grand European citynames in the location field.
Facebook, thanks for letting me find some old friends again.
And thanks to you Bo Grosss, for getting me on it.
Me: Is this like friendster? *logs on and signs up*
Bo Grosso: Sorta, but more interactive, there's lotsa stuff you can do there.
Me: Right... this looks just like friendster, you must be bored at work or something.
Yes yes, call me behind with the times, but i've recently discovered facebook.
And whilst i think the fandangled apps to customize your profile page are yet another incarnation of the "starbucks syndrome" (Its not coffee, its an identity! Mocah latte Grande half caf with a dash of netmeg please ).
I found it great to find old friends that i lost touch with. And WOW ppl have certainly gotten busy!
shy quiet girl turns hyper fitness junkie.
Socialist campaigner in uni actually moving to cuba.
Grand European citynames in the location field.
Facebook, thanks for letting me find some old friends again.
And thanks to you Bo Grosss, for getting me on it.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
This present darkness
I have been busy at work these last 2 days.
Things going back to the way its always been.
From what you ask?
Sunday I faced darkness, a demon not of my own and uncontainable.
Things went back to normal on monday... but with scars so deep i can feel them in the darkest night.
the worst thing is?
I'm almost used to it...
Duty is the heaviest burden...
Things going back to the way its always been.
From what you ask?
Sunday I faced darkness, a demon not of my own and uncontainable.
Things went back to normal on monday... but with scars so deep i can feel them in the darkest night.
the worst thing is?
I'm almost used to it...
Duty is the heaviest burden...
Monday, August 6, 2007
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Saturday night Fever
For the first time this year Caravaggio hit the clubs last night!
Do I still have the moves? Yes I do, u know i do!
OOhhh yeah
Here's a few highlights
(1) Funking Mambo tunes whilst waiting to get in
(2) Watching sam sam the indon man try to pick up
(3) Realizing the girl in (2) was a "working girl" that was attending to her sugar daddy
(4) Watching a skinny Vietnamese fella try to pick up with the line "do you speak english?"
(5) Watching a girl practice her grooves... on a wall.
(6) No smoky smells on leaving the club.
All in all, not too shabby a night!
Do I still have the moves? Yes I do, u know i do!
OOhhh yeah
Here's a few highlights
(1) Funking Mambo tunes whilst waiting to get in
(2) Watching sam sam the indon man try to pick up
(3) Realizing the girl in (2) was a "working girl" that was attending to her sugar daddy
(4) Watching a skinny Vietnamese fella try to pick up with the line "do you speak english?"
(5) Watching a girl practice her grooves... on a wall.
(6) No smoky smells on leaving the club.
All in all, not too shabby a night!
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Oh to dance the rainbow
<- I saw this clip today and it made me a little melancholic.
But once again, I start in the middle of a story.
I am a story teller, a spinner of yarns, a word smith.
I have always held to the belief that the stories choose their audience, the role of the teller relive the tale and let the magic of the story tell itself.
This strip reminded me of how much we lose, in growing up.
When the magical turns mundane and the tales just fade...
Fight the grayness friends.
Don't lose touch with the magic.
Tell your tales, sing your songs, and let the colours dance.
Headhunted...
Nothing artsy or reflective today readers, this is a post dedicated to hard, bill paying reality...
It was late on a wed afternoon on a particularly slow day at work. And in my boredom i sent a generic CV to an ad that simply read. "Project managers wanted, Attractive Defense Projects, Australia Wide Roles.
A few weeks later i get a call asking me me to attend a phone interview.
So i jump to this company's website and start researching.
Medium sized defense contractor. Has some fairly interesting projects going on. Some systems i've even trained on myself back in the day (*yes i was an army man* (to the tune of "do you know the muffin man")).
Interview 1
C: Blah, blah, blah my experience, blah blah blah, suitable for this role, blah blah blah I would prefer Sydney roles
Company: Blah, blah ,blah company, blah blah, blah, new project, blah, blah, blah Probably Adelaide, probably not sydney
Seems that they did take a liking to me and after my point that i did not relish the thought of Adelaide, they set me up for the 2nd interview... with the Adelaide project team.
And that went pretty smoothly too, i have all the right skills they need, and they like my ex-army back ground and experience with the defense work thing.
I'm pretty sure that they will give me at least 25% more pay then what im' getting now,
The only catch is... I still don't like the idea of Adelaide. And truth be told I am rather settled here.
I'd relish the idea of moving up to Sydney for the better weather and more active life. Not to mention Bo Grosso being up there does help make it attractive for the short term.
But Adelaide? The city of churches?
I don't know...
comments? stories?
It was late on a wed afternoon on a particularly slow day at work. And in my boredom i sent a generic CV to an ad that simply read. "Project managers wanted, Attractive Defense Projects, Australia Wide Roles.
A few weeks later i get a call asking me me to attend a phone interview.
So i jump to this company's website and start researching.
Medium sized defense contractor. Has some fairly interesting projects going on. Some systems i've even trained on myself back in the day (*yes i was an army man* (to the tune of "do you know the muffin man")).
Interview 1
C: Blah, blah, blah my experience, blah blah blah, suitable for this role, blah blah blah I would prefer Sydney roles
Company: Blah, blah ,blah company, blah blah, blah, new project, blah, blah, blah Probably Adelaide, probably not sydney
Seems that they did take a liking to me and after my point that i did not relish the thought of Adelaide, they set me up for the 2nd interview... with the Adelaide project team.
And that went pretty smoothly too, i have all the right skills they need, and they like my ex-army back ground and experience with the defense work thing.
I'm pretty sure that they will give me at least 25% more pay then what im' getting now,
The only catch is... I still don't like the idea of Adelaide. And truth be told I am rather settled here.
I'd relish the idea of moving up to Sydney for the better weather and more active life. Not to mention Bo Grosso being up there does help make it attractive for the short term.
But Adelaide? The city of churches?
I don't know...
comments? stories?
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