Taking ground

Its been a while since I posted.

Truth be told I've been playing with my new toy... but more on that later.

I've been on the bench for my 4th week running now and getting a bit nervous that if they don't get me to a nice project soon that I'd start looking like the proverbial white elephant in the office.

Its my first time that I don't get to look forward to "going home" to Adelaide after a fortnight, indeed, I won't see the little one for a good... month. 

Its not fun.

Amongst all this is the general compression that I've been feeling about living in Melbourne again.

It seems to me that my tone has always been resistant to change, defending my inner world and mindscape against any and all incursions without prejudice.

There are many reasons to back up how I've grown to this state, but perhaps the time will and has now come that I have to begin to allow changes. To accept sometimes constructive (if overly) critical critisms and learn from them.

Impasses and sieges are not fun, and whilst I am completely and throughly sick of being misunderstood, of having EVERY action, decision and inaction questioned, prodded and "improved", I will try to look beyond the sharp words and to the intents instead.

Perhaps in this willow reed approach, the sharp edges of the world will dull somewhat, allowing the border tensions on the edges of my mindscape to ease.

Perhaps the key to being understood (at least down to a relative level) is to simplify.

It is hard, for a man that has (at least in my mindscape) lived in the greyness of subjectivity and revelled in the relativity of life.

Lord help me.

Thats all I can say.