When world's collide

I watch the offbeat movie Lars and the real girl the other night.

And was charmed at the main character's delusional love and its power.

There was a scene where Lars danced with tears in his eyes as his friends played along to the illusion he had cast for them.

I think that was when the delusion had worn thin, and the reality of the situation began to at least shine through for brief, lucid moments, piercing deep into his soul, wounding deeper than anything.

For some moments this weekend, I began to question things too.

Surrounded by my newly acquired trinkets and toys, I've built myself a nice little hovel in Adelaide.

I spend my hours between new and old forms of escapism to fend off the inevitable and growing truth... the loneliness.

This weekend I realized that somewhere along the previous weeks I had stopped struggling against this long time foe.

Pray for me friends... I'm tired and I've just realized that a wordsmith's tiny silver hammer does not do well against the darkness.

I need new friends, a new network, new allies, new direction.