Bring the rain...

Time passes but yet stands still when one is on guard duty.

This is even more relevant when the watch has no discernible end.

A memory with gaps and holes like a tattered cheese cloth does not help.

Occasionally the mind will drudge these depths and come up with an image, a scene, a conversation.

But that task is usually left for another... for now, only one stands.

Recent images of the sound of a GPMG thundering in the night, the burn of the acid oil of healing and the glare of the purple light are pushed aside.

Another has joined in the watch at least for now.

A greeting is muttered and the guard is raised again.

The company is sorely needed but both know that its only temporary.

That train has sailed has it not? crosses his mind as he paces in the night.

Leaving his sleeping friend in the company of the other, he disappears into the darkness to do his patrol round.

The night still stands, and at least tonight, it will not claim this one.

~~~

Soldiers as a rule, see things in an inevitable black and white. Kill or be killed.

It is a simple adage. If the man on the other end of this rifle is trying to kill you, what do you care of the complexity of his life or cause? The human tendency to learn & understand is trained to be caged whilst the fight or flight instinct takes over.

Thus in that microsecond, all the colours of the world cease, and all that remains is the black and white of survival... then you pull the trigger, over and over again.

You move, duck, take cover and scream orders at others who like you have just devolved into machines and numbers.

As all this occurs, you make projections, counting the number of rounds of have remaining, how long before you close the gap to the enemy kill-bot and if you run out of ammunition, how to terminate the other's existence before your own fragile flame is extinguished.

And within all this, there are only 2 things that matter, the white of survival or the darkness of the alternative.

As a peace time soldier, one can already feel the branding of the experience, being forever changed. What then of those for whom the war was real?

Having seen the glory or gory of the black/white duality at their local big screen, Boys, desk jockeys and pencil pushers will always attempt to relate, fascinate or compare to their glories grand and trails bested.

Climb your mountains, sail your boats and run your races.
Go home children all, and be glad that you have not lost what we have lost.
For it is a terrible thing to see and value life in only 2 colors.
So play with your toys and live your lives thinking yourselves men.
But never fail to bow your heads, to those have and still serve.
Your freedom isn't free, it was paid for by simple soldiers and broken men like me.

~~~
This one always pulls a heart string for me.

The soldier stood and faced his God Which must always come to pass...
He hoped his shoes were shining Just as brightly as his brass.
"Step forward now, you soldier, How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek? To My Church have you been true?"
The soldier squared his shoulders and Said,"No, Lord, I guess I ain't...
Because those of us who carry guns Can't always be a saint.
I've had to work most Sundays And at times my talk was tough,
And sometimes I've been violent, Because the streets are awfully tough.
But, I never took a penny That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime When the bills got just too steep,
And I never passed a cry for help, Though at times I shook with fear,
And sometimes, God forgive me, I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place Among the people here...
They never wanted me around Except to calm their fears.
If you've a place for me here, Lord, It needn't be so grand,
I never expected or had too much, But if you don't, I'll understand."
There was a silence all around the throne Where the saints had often trod...
As the soldier waited quietly, For the judgment of his God,
"Step forward now you soldier,
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."