What lies ahead?

Married life has been keeping me busy and happy.

Its not an easy job this whole head of the house hold thing.

Being accountable to the big man upstairs for everything the collective "We" do is something heavy indeed.

I'm praying and believing that God will guide as as he's always has.

These days I'm not half as brave as I used to think myself... perhaps in that is where faith is its most powerful.

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.

Still here...

But very much distracted.

Married life is wonderful, though life will all its challenges would be too much even for 2, but for the grace of God.

Thank you father, for everything.

We're Married!

And I'm totally loving it.

Married life, despite and inspite of all the changes and compromises, certainly does rock!

its coming!

39 days and counting!

Am i looking forward to it?

you bet!

Is it scary as heck?

Sure is!

But it does help not to think about it too much,

God set the things in motion, and now its time to let his currents guide me.

help me lord

Help me Lord.

Help me tide this wave.

These walls that I've been trapped under for so many years.

This fear that has become a part of my life, turning me brittle and dry.

It hurts lord,

Please save me.

Please.

Boredom

Dear Lord,

I'm bored,

I think something cracked a little under all that recent stress and I couldn't be bothered anymore.

I feel restricted and tied down to obligatiosn rules and institutions, and in someway that makes me more bored.

I've always understood that new things loose their shine, to take one a more permenant if dull lustre.

This doesn't seem to be it.

I miss being passionate about things...

having goals, being close to you.

Fuel my drive Lord.

Amen

Happy Birthday to her!

I love you baby,

and if its quite alright I need you baby...

Its been a crazy year,

Mountains have moved,

Tides have been turned.

Through it all,

I have no regrets.

I love you,

I love walking with you,

Learning more about you daily.

I love you baby.

Happy Birthday!

In the silent home...

A dream gone bye

Lots and lots has happened lately.

Lots is still happening.

but indulge me this.

~~~~

Black TT

-----

I remember my first car,

all 1.3L of pure carby power. My mates and I took her racing into the hills about 2 days into my owner ship and almost killed ourselves in it.

The brakes screamed and the entire car pivoted on the front left tyre whilst spinning 180 degrees.

We screamed OOOHHHHHH SHIIiiiitittttt as it spun and slammed into a gutter, to be saved by a cheap but sturdily made japanese rim holding under impact.

...

Fast forward years later, a foreigner drags his tired body onto a crowded bus, torn and bruised limbs dragging his groceries.

The heartlanders around him yell into their cell phones in dialects he can't help but understand.

He gets off at his bus stop, and looks at his watch. 7 hrs of freedom left... take an hour on the bus away from that... time to live.

...

Hours past

The foreigner sits with his wealthy friends, each enjoying the count down in the sweet sense of stolen time.

Hey lets go for a drive, says one of them. He jumps into the leather clad beast, hiding envy...

...

Years past

He sits in a car park filled with memories & ghosts, bolting on a set of rims, he tries to ignore the phantom whispers as he knows he must continue the suicide watch, whilst hearing more heart rending details of that he would rather not know.

...

With pride he looks upon his tiny fleet, one for work and one for racing, and the setup reversed just because he could.

He lets himself smile as he remembers the stinking hot bus.


...

Time pasts.

The man runs his hands on the smooth surface of the sportster.

Before turning the seller down and walking back to his now dusty steed.

Maybe one day, maybe never.

We all try to grow up one day.

On the rock

I'm a big mixed bag of feelings right now.

Mostly its apprehension.

Then there is in there disappointment and the growing sense of... well, anger's to strong a word, but it certainly is in that direction.

I'd talk more.

But then I won't be able to stop.

Save me lord.

Please...

The erg of frustration...

...The breaking wave of pressure.

These are turmoilic times in my life.

Yet I have never been so blessed.

So in all things, in all times.

May I praise the name of the lord.

Farewell little friend

Tiny little creature as big as a sock

Curious eyes and sniffing nose.

Friendship offered and gained.

Silent companion, and all knowing family member.

Little gray ghost running around comforting all.

Toys numbers 1 through to 6.

Good bye my little friend.

I'm sorry we weren't there.

We'll see u again one day.

Christmas 2008

I've had  fairly quiet day,

and whilst I had a few pieces of writing float up, it was mostly meloncolic stuff, about missing home and being a bit lonesome whilst I travel.

But you know what?

Its Christmas and I just want to celebrate the reason for the season, Jesus Christ.

Thank you God, for loving us so very much that even your son was not spared in your sacrifice.

Thank you Jesus, for your life, your love and your presence.

So dear readers,

Be you cold or warm, cuddled or solitary.

Don't forget to thank God for the blessing of Jesus, the reason for the season.

Grandma

Sitting in her silent cell,

once bright eyes now dulled to a hazel shadow.

Words bounce off those prison walls.

Reflecting guilt and duty back to the speaker.

Excuses do not deny reality.

Of the once proud now captive in the silent world.

A sap am I

I'm travelling the world again, seeing sights to behold and new tastes aquired.

Yet it all feels empty without her...

Some things were meant to be done in pairs.

like backpacking with little black boxes.

Oh I miss the little one.

A love letter

Dear Jesus,

I love you,

thank you for everything you've done.

Its overwhelming to think that you knew every thing I would do.

Every failure and promise I would break to you and to the world.

And yet you still chose to die for me.

Thank you, even though mere words are so easy to type.

Thank you for your life, your love and your presence.

I love you lord.

I've been meaning to write

Here's a few titles I ve been meaning to get down.

I hope I get around to them.

My little Black Box

Communication

Misunderstood desires.

My distant friend

The pedulum swings

Hi folks,

Its been a while since I've written,

I guess its been busy busy just trying to settling down with life in the new city.

Life is certainly busier these days, filled with a busy job and keeping a little doctor girl fed (oh the girl can certainly eat.)

I realized that through the hustle and bustle of it all, I haven't been thinking much about (let alone talking to) the man upstairs.

So with a guilty frown I turn my eyes to heaven and count my many many blessings he has bestowed on me.

Thank you God!

Content

A quiet rush of breathing fills the room as I type this.

It has been a tough time in the recent months, it was worst the last few weeks.

God's led me through it, even when I was too busy to talk to him.

Even in these evening days of this era, and the dawning of the new.

I can't help but feel overwhelmed by all his blessing through it all.

Thank you Lord.

Once were warriors

Once a gunner, always a gunner.

A major and a lieutenant sit at table. Reminiscing about the days gone by.

Anyone would see 2 men sitting down talking in shorts but in each others mindscapes, they wear their number no.1 whites, swords at hip, officers and gentlemen.

They talk about life, of joys and dreams.

The older yearns on the past, of kampong days and the glory of the older generation. The younger tells of his love found and cherished.

Life has changed remarkably for these 2 men. A warrior poet and a writer warrior , now floating in life's eddy and flow.

Life seemed so much simpler through the iron sights of the M16 did they not?

Still, in God's hands and plan, these 2 now meet, the rifle strap replaced with a camera's.

Once were warriors, now are men, walking Gods path.

Dear Lord,

Help us walk strong and be your agents in this world.

Amen.